SMART Youth Answers: What Happens After Sex

I just had sex, now what do I do?

Okay, we already discussed how to dispose of condoms after sex, so now we will cover the talking and the emotions part of the experience. Regardless of your relationship with your sexual partner, there is always a sense of vulnerability after sex. Our bodies are exposed, we are naked, and we just shared a very intimate act with another person. It is completely normal to feel anxious or uncertain about what to do next. But this is one situation with no "right" answer. The most important thing for you to do is to figure out what makes you feel comfortable. If you want to continue that sense of connection, this is a great time to cuddle (after disposing of the condom) or to talk to your partner. It is always a good idea to wash up after sex for hygiene and comfort reasons. Finally, you need to leave the situation feeling like you and your sexual partner are on the same page in terms of what sex means to you.

After sharing something as intimate as sex, the hope is that you feel a sense of security and comfort with the other person. That means you can talk to them about how you are feeling and your emotions for the other person and about if sex changes that relationship. It would be best if that discussion happens before you have sex, but it should definitely happen before you leave. The main reason that sex causes anxiety is that you don't know what it means to the other person. Is it only a physical desire that you are exploring or is it an expression of the emotional connection that is part of a romantic relationship? The only way to know is to talk about it.

SMART Youth Answers: LGBTQQIA--- W,X,Y, and Z

What is up with all these sexual orientations? What do they all mean?

It does seem as if there is a sexual orientation letter soup, but as we gain a better understanding about how we view sexuality-- it's important that we include everyone. First let's start with the definition of sexual orientation.

Sexual Orientation describes someone's continual (not just one time) attraction -- it can be a physical, sexual, and/or emotional attraction -- to a group of people.  We'll get into the different groupings of people in our letter soup discussion below. Now the important thing to remember about someone's sexual orientation is that the definition doesn't mention any sexual acts. Let's make this idea into an example. If a guy receives oral sex from another guy BUT he does not have a continual attraction to men, then that 1 sexual act does NOT define his sexual orientation. However, his behavior does mean that he has had sex with another man (your actions don't disappear just because you don't identify as a different sexual orientation.)

 Okay, now let's figure out what LGBTQQIA means:

Lesbian is when women have sexual desire or attraction to women.

Gay is usually ascribed to men who have sexual desire or attraction to men. As we all know, there are several definitions to the word gay, and not all of them are about sexual orientation. However, some women who are attracted to women refer to themselves as gay.

Bisexual is a sexual orientation that describes someone who is attracted to women and men. Remember, sexual orientation is not about your current sexual activities. So, that means a woman can be in a relationship with a man and still identify as a bisexual because she feels an attraction for both men and women.

Transgender is unique in this "alphabet soup" of sexuality because it doesn't really refer to a sexual orientation. However, in our society, we tend to put together all "groups" of people that are "different." So, people who identify as transgender are considered part of the LGBTQQIA community. Transgender people are those whose psychological self ("gender identity") differs from the social expectations for the physical sex they were born with. Transgender people may have any sexual orientation.

Queer is a political statement, a theory and an identity. Someone who identifies as queer is a person who redefines or plays with gender, or who refuses society's definitions or expectations assigned to gender altogether. It is often a label that people choose who bend or break their socially assigned gender roles. Queer identity is not a sexual orientation, but it is an identity that allows people to move outside of the boxes for female or male. In the past, queer has been a negative word for people who do not identify as a heterosexual, and some people find it offensive.

Questioning allows for people to say that they are not sure what their sexual orientation is, or if it is only one way. Someone's sexual attraction might change several times over their lives. If they don't want to make an absolute statement about their sexual attraction/orientation, then they will identify as questioning.

Intersexuality is a set of medical conditions that feature congenital anomaly of the reproductive and sexual system. That is, intersex people are born with "sex chromosomes," external genitalia, or internal reproductive systems that are not considered "standard" for either male or female.

Asexual is a person who is not sexually attracted to any gender. This does not mean that they don't have sexual feelings, but those feelings are not connected to another person. Someone identifying as asexual will still engage in sexual acts, but those acts will not include anyone else.

 That is a lot of information, but it doesn't end there. We could talk about pansexuality, polyamory, and two spirits. Sexuality is a complex concept, and the more we learn, the more we realize that we don't know. One of the new ideas that people are finally accepting is that our identities are fluid, and all the acronyms (alphabet soups) still won't cover how we love and desire other people. So, don't worry if you don't know what letter or box you fit in. Maybe you don't need to check a box. Maybe we should all focus a little more in making sure we are happy and in choosing partners who love us as opposed to figuring out what category we fit in. Our hope is that everyone can have this and we will learn to accept each other regardless of the gender or sex of the people we love.

  

SMART Youth Answers: Explosion in 3...2...1

I am so stressed out! What are the affects of stress on my body and how can I keep calm?

Everyone is under a whole lot of stress these days.  Dealing with school, family, friends, boyfriends, Hurricanes for goodness sake!  Life is not easy, and some days are much worse than others.  Added to the external stress (stuff that happens around or to us), we also have additional stress that we put on ourselves (internal stress).  Some of the internal stress comes from doubting ourselves or thinking that we are not able to handle everything around us.  And -- as the icing on the cake -- puberty and the hormonal changes that happen during adolescence only crank up these feelings, so what is normally annoying (like your mom telling you to do the dishes or make your bed) feels like it's the end of the world and all you want to do is EXPLODE!!!

Okay, first thing you need to know is that it is completely normal.  We've all been there.  Adults just black it out of our memories because it sucked so much.  Stress is our bodies response to what it understands as a difficult situation.  Sometimes, stress can be a good thing.  It keeps us awake if we're driving late at night, and it can even improve your vision!  That's because your body reacts to stress by releasing the hormones adrenaline and cortisol into your bloodstream.  The problem comes when we are feeling stressed out all the time and our body is always drowning in the adrenaline and cortisone.  Not good for your body and not good for the way you feel!  Check out the chart below for some common symptoms of stress.

Common effects of stress ...
... On your body	... On your mood	... On your behavior
Headache Muscle tension or pain Chest pain Fatigue Change in sex drive Stomach upset Sleep problems	Anxiety Restlessness Lack of motivation or focus Irritability or anger Sadness or depression	Overeating or undereating Angry outbursts Drug or alcohol abuse Tobacco use Social withdrawal

But don't lose hope because there are ways to make it better.  Here are a few suggestions about what to do when you are feeling stressed out!

When you are feeling frustrated and want to take it out on someone else (family, friends or romantic partner), you could...
--> Take a walk -- sounds simple, but leaving a situation before it gets ugly is one of the best ways to make sure that you don't have to deal with more stress because you hurt someone else
--> BREATHE -- I know you've heard it before, but deep breaths actually have a physical impact on your body.  It helps calm the systems that are telling your brain to release the extra hormones.
--> Talk about it -- You would be surprised how much a situation can improve if you simply say that you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed out.  Since everyone has felt that way before, they can relate and maybe even give you a break.  But if they don't know why you are slamming doors or not answering them all they see is your annoying behaviors.

When you feel stressed ALL the time, you can...
--> Exercise!  I know everyone says this, but there are so many good things that come from physical activity.  Here's the technical reason -- when you raise your heart rate due to aerobic exercise (running around) your body releases different chemicals into your bloodstream that leads to you feeling good, worn out and like you did something meaningful (which you did!)
--> Sleep -- it is so important to get 8 hours every single night.  Sleep is the time when your body takes a break.  Stress will only increase if you don't allow your body to tune out and replenish itself.
--> Do something FUN -- Now that doesn't mean that you have a legitimate excuse for why you went to the movies instead of doing your homework, but it is important to realize that sometimes we need to give ourselves a break.  Adults do it all the time with their brunches, mani/pedis, yoga and massages, and you can too.  Think about something that always makes you smile -- baking cookies, the swings at the park, game night with friends -- now make it happen!  You will be surprised how much more relaxed you feel afterwards.
--> Break it down --Try and write down the things that you have to do or are on your mind.  Then circle the top 3, now star the number 1 priority.  Good!  Now, figure out the first 3 steps that you need to do to complete it.  You've just made something that felt overwhelming into 3 steps that you can actually do!  Congratulations, that is the most important step to learn when it comes to managing stress at school, at work, and with family!

It's easy to deal with feeling stressed by eating, watching TV all day, smoking or even doing drugs.  The problem with those choices is that all of those options don't fix what is making you stressed AND their side effects actually add to the stress on your body.  So what feels good for 10 minutes will eventually make you feel much worse, and can make you physically sick!  All of a sudden that walk sounds pretty good right now, doesn't it!  And as always, if the feelings don't go away after exercising, sleeping well, having fun and breaking down your "to do" items, then it might be time to talk to your parents about seeing a doctor.  There might be other physical or mental stuff going on.

Okay, now you know what stress is, what the possible symptoms of stress look like, and a list to help you deal.  As a reward for all your time and attention, here is one last tip for dealing with stress -- look at cute pictures of baby animals!!  They are just too cute! And here's a freebie for the road...

SMART Youth Answers: OMG - HA, HB, & HCV!

What is hepatitis?

Hepatitis literally means inflammation of ('itis') the liver ('hepa'). It's caused by viral infections, excessive use of alcohol, illegal drug use, or by a person's own immune response.

Before we talk more about Hepatitis, we're first going to take a quick look at the liver.

• The liver, which sits below the lungs (in between both lungs is the heart) and to the right of the stomach, is the largest organ in the human body (the largest organ of the human body is the skin). It's a meaty, reddish brown, rubbery feeling organ that weighs about 3 pounds when fully developed. The liver's main job is to filter blood, but it also does more than 400 other functions everyday.

Viral hepatitis is the leading cause of cirrhosis, liver failure, and liver cancer.

The symptoms of hepatitis include:

• jaundice, which causes a yellowing of the skin and eyes
• fatigue
• abdominal pain
• loss of appetite
• nausea
• vomiting
• diarrhea
• fever
• headache  

However, some people do no experience any symptom at all, or several years after they contracted the virus.  The hepatitis virus comes in 5 types: A-E, with the most common types being A, B, and C.  It's important to state that Hepatitis C is the leading cause of viral hepatitis.

Hepatitis A is usually passed from one person to another through fecal contaminated food or water in places where the water supply is not sanitized. People who get hepatitis A generally get better and have no further complications. While infected some people can feel very ill from flu-like symptoms. 

Hepatitis B  is passed from one person to another when the blood or sexual fluids of an HBV infected person gets into another persons blood stream through openings in the skin (punctures, cuts, sores) or through the mucosal membranes (nose, genitals). Hepatitis B can live outside of the body for several days. It can become a chronic or lifelong infection and increase the risk for serious liver damage and liver cancer. Infants infected during childbirth are at the highest risk for developing chronic infection.

Hepatitis C (HCV) is passed from one person to another when the blood of an HCV infected person gets into another person’s blood stream through openings in the skin (punctures, tears, cuts, sores) or through a blood transfusion (but not in the United States since all blood is tested for Hepatitis C). Hepatitis C can live outside of the body for several days. Hepatitis C can become a chronic or lifelong infection and increases the risk for serious liver damage and liver cancer. 

Hepatitis D is spread through contact with infected blood, and is contracted concurrently with Hepatitis B or develops in people who already have Hepatitis B.

Hepatitis E is spread through food or water contaminated by feces from an infected person, but is uncommon in the US.

How can I protect myself?

The good news is that there are vaccines available for Hepatitis A & B, and the Hepatitis B vaccine may offset the spread of Hepatitis D. In the United States, it is often required for you to have these vaccines before you enter high school or college, and it requires several shots over a period of 6 months.  Your doctor will talk with you about any questions you have about the vaccine.

Regardless of vaccination, it is a good practice to avoid drinking tap water when travelling internationally -- it's not just viral hepatitis that you could get!!

Since Hepatitis B, C, and D are spread through blood and sexual contact, the best way to protect yourself is to use universal precautions.  Always use gloves when you are in contact with any blood, always use condoms, DON'T share needles (for drug use or tattoos!), and DON'T share person hygiene items (like toothbrushes, razors, or nail clippers)!

What do I do if I think I have hepatitis?

The first thing you should do is get tested.  Go to your doctor or find a free testing site.  There are treatment options available, and you should talk with your doctor about what is best for you.  Get informed about the options and protect your liver -- don't drink, exercise, eat well-balanced nutritious meals and stay positive!


**It is important to know that viral hepatitis may result from other sources not mentioned. These are called non-A-E hepatitis, the cause of which is still generally unknown.

SMART Youth Answers: What to Expect When You're Knocked Up Part 2

What do I do when the pregnancy test shows a + sign?

For this post, we asked one of our SMART Youth alumni (and new mommy) to talk about her experiences and what she wished she knew while she was pregnant...

If you missed Part 1, check it out here: What to Expect When You're Knocked Up Part 1

Pregnancy can be terrifying, especially for first time mommies. Here you are carrying something inside of you! I know when I was pregnant I was scared about everything. Am I sleeping in the right position? Am I taking the right prenatal vitamins? If I get sick, does my fetus get sick? Do I need to wear an oxygen mask outside because all of the smog, smoke, and debris that flies through the air? These questions may seem kind of funny to people who have never been pregnant and maybe even to a few experienced mom, but first time moms know--there is no stupid question when it comes to your baby!

Hopefully, this post will help ease your mind of at least some of your questions--and if not--I've included some resources that I used when I was pregnant for the first time at the bottom.

I am sick! Will my fetus get sick too? Can I take medicine?
No, your fetus will not get sick--depending on the severity of the illness and yes, you can take medicine. Most medicines are okay to use while pregnant, some are iffy, and some should be avoided altogether. Your doctor may provide you with a list of okay medicines to take, if not you can (and should) always call and ask. If you are sick right now and cannot reach your doctor, Tylenol is an acceptable medicine to take.

With any medicine, follow the directions exactly!

Natural remedies may seem more appealing than drugs bought at the store, but they can be just as toxic and dangerous if misused. Please treat natural drugs and remedies the same way you would store bought drugs. Talk to your doctor or caregiver and follow directions exactly as they are given.

Which prenatal vitamins should I take?
Not all prenatal vitamins are created equal. Some people swear by natural vitamins, others prefer the candy fun of gummy vitamins, some (like me) don't care and just take whatever was free from the clinic. If you are concerned about the vitamins you are taking here is some information to keep in mind when selecting your prenatal vitamins.

Look for vitamins that have approximately....
...400 mcg of Folic Acid
...400 IU of Vitamin D
...200 to 300 mg of Calcium
...70 mg of Vitamin C
...3 mg of thiamine
...2 mg of riboflavin
...20 mg of niacin
...6 mcg of Vitamin B12
...10 mg of Vitamin E
...15 mg of Zinc
...17 mg of Iron

Whether you find these amounts in natural vitamins or clinic freebies, it doesn't matter--as long as you take it every day!

How much weight will I gain?
If you were of average weight before you were pregnant, expect to gain 25 - 35 pounds over the nine months; 1 - 4 1/2 lbs. during the first trimester, then about a pound a week during the rest of the pregnancy.

If you were underweight, expect to gain 28 to 40 lbs.; 1 - 4 1/2 lbs in the first trimester, then a little over a pound every week after that.

If you were overweight, expect to gain around 15 - 25lbs.; 1 - 4 1/2 lbs during the first trimester, then 1/2 lb. the second and third trimester.

If you were obese or severely overweight, expect to gain 11 - 20 lbs.; 1 - 4 1/2 lbs. in the first trimester, then under 1/2 lb. in the second and third.

Do not attempt to lose weight during your pregnancy, as this could harm the baby. If you find you are losing weight instead of gaining, talk to your doctor. If you are gaining more weight than expected, try adjusting your eating habits. Your doctor may offer you advice on how to help. However, if your doctor isn't concerned about your weight gain, you shouldn't be either. Your doctor will let you know when and if you should be concerned.

Putting on weight slowly and steadily is the best way to go, but don't get too worried if you aren't putting on enough at first or put on a lot at first. Everyone is different. If you were slow to gain the weight in the beginning, you may put it all on at the end. If you gained a lot in the beginning (as long as you are following good eating habits) you may not gain much of anything in the end. Some women grow in spurts; one month, nothing--the next several pounds! Try not to obsess over it. The most important thing is that you are taking good care of your body.

Is it safe to run/exercise while pregnant?
There have been cases where pregnant women have had miscarriages because of jogging, running, or performing certain exercises. However, exercise is still important when you are pregnant. There are different exercises you can do specifically designed for pregnant women. Practicing them may even help with labor pains when it's time to give birth. Look for books, movies, and articles on pregnancy yoga positions and exercises.

Running or jogging isn't strongly advised, but walking is definitely recommended. Taking two 15-minute walks a day can greatly improve the chances of having an easy labor. If you are someone who usually likes to go running or jogging, opt for power walks instead, just to be safe. If you are someone who doesn't like to exercise at all, go for a daily stroll around your neighborhood; challenge yourself to find something new every day.

And, no matter what, don't forget your Kegels!

How important are birth plans?
Honestly speaking, not very. They're good, so that you can have an idea of what to expect once you go into labor and have an idea of all the things you would like to do, but the chances of your labor going exactly as planned is unlikely. Having a birth plan is a lot like planning a party; you could have your theme and decorations ready, you can have all the party games you want set to go, you can have a list of foods you want to make and put out, you can plan and plan and plan until the party feels like it will be flawless. But when the day of the party comes, your oven might break down so you have to order pizza, some of the guests you had your heart set on won't arrive, your flowers are wilting, their was a mix-up at the bakery and you got the wrong cake.

My point is...planning is great, fantastic, wonderful. You should definitely not go into this without some idea of how you would like things to go down--but be open-minded to change and try and have a sense of humor. It's not the end of the world if you cave in and get an epidural instead of going all natural. Maybe your husband gets stuck in traffic and can't make it to see the birth--yeah that sucks, but it will really be okay. Worry about the memories your baby will actually, you know, remember. Some unexpected, unforeseen, complication occurs and you have to have a C-section at a hospital when what you really wanted was a home birth in your bathtub. It's OK!

I know, for first time moms, labor seems like THE most important thing in the world, but once it's done and you have that new screaming, crying, little bundle of joy, it just doesn't matter anymore.

Just like at a party, as long as everyone had a good time, who cares if things went according to plan?

What should I include in my birth plan?
This was a bit overwhelming for me because I thought I had to include EVERYTHING. There is no right way to write a birth plan. It's really just a list of things you would like to happen when going into labor.

• Include directions to the hospital; several different routes, just in case. How you intend to get there and numbers you may need to call, such as cabs or people who have agreed to drive you, as well as your partner's office and cell numbers (you might know them by heart, but you should still include it if someone else ends up helping you).

• Include a list of people you'd like to be notified and their numbers. Also add your doctor's name and the name of the clinic you go to. You may only be allowed to have a certain number of people in the room with you so make it clear who those individuals will be.

• List things you would like to be able to do while in labor, such as go for a walk, eat, watch TV, take a shower, have a jacuzzi, whatever.

• Include your allergies, any health complications you may have, and your preferences about whether or not you want drugs. They are going to ask you several times at the hospital though, even if you say no.

• If you would like to save the cord, make a note of this as well--but also tell your attending doctors and nurses so there is no mess ups during the excitement of delivery.

I'd say those are the most important things. Whether or not you have a birth plan the nurse and doctors who are with you will ask you everything they need to know, even if you have it written down on paper.

Is labor as horrible as it sounds?
Yes and no. What I've found to be true when it comes to giving birth is mind over matter. What I mean is, if you go in with the mindset that this is going to be a horrible experience--you're most likely going to have a horrible experience. If you go in calm, relaxed, open-minded, and well informed, you're more likely to have a better experience.

In the months leading up to your due date, get comfortable with the idea of giving birth. Practice breathing and relaxation exercises (I found Hypnobabies especially helpful). Even if things don't go according to plan, try and stay positive, it will just give you a better experience.

Take me, for example, my water broke a week before my son was due, and I was not going into labor. I did not want to take any drugs, but I had to take labor inducing drugs to start my labor. If not, I would risk infection or a C-section--neither options were very appealing to me. For two days I was in the hospital, hooked up to machines, unable to eat or drink anything, unable to leave my bed except for when I really had to use the bathroom and one shower. It was, by no means, a fun experience, but because I refused to let go of my positive attitude I don't look back on it with any sort of resentment.

I did end up getting an epidural because after a night of barely any sleep and no food (I think maybe I was allowed some bagel...), my oncoming labor pains were just not something I had anymore patience or energy to deal with. All in all, when Julian finally arrived I was in extremely good spirits. In fact, when I was moved into my maternity suite, the nurse attending me couldn't even believe I had just given birth.

The best advice I could give anyone is to just do your best to stay calm and keep smiling. If someone is bothering you, don't feel bad about telling them so (I did and my husband and mom would have you believe I was a real monster about it, but my sister will defend me in saying I really wasn't that bad!). If you want to do something, like take a walk, or a shower, or eat, let the nurses know--if you can they will let you, don't be shy to ask! Do whatever it takes to make yourself as comfortable as possible. It's YOUR day!

How long does it take to recover after giving birth?
About 6 weeks is the average estimated time of recovery, though this recovery time can more than double if you have a C-section. If you breastfeed you may recover faster, as breastfeeding helps shrink the uterus (it'll feel like bad cramps when it happens). It's a good idea to really use this time to relax and re-coop. If you push yourself too much, too soon, you risk prolonging your recovery.

Will I ever get my old body back?
Maybe, maybe not. Your breasts might be different after having a baby, and you may have some stretchmarks to take care of, but losing weight, at least, isn't impossible. When you breastfeed you lose weight faster (breastfeeding burns calories). I didn't even try to lose my baby weight and just by going for walks and breastfeeding I went back to my pre-pregnancy size. However, it works differently for everyone. Whatever happens just love yourself for who you are! Look at what you've accomplished! You brought a freaking human being into the world! Who cares if you went up a dress size or two to do it? You are AMAZING! Appreciate that!

Hey, my question isn't here!
Here are some great resources for expecting moms:

WIC - Women, Infants, and Children. As I mentioned before, this is a great resource for low-income families looking to supplement their groceries with healthier foods.

Healthy Families - Healthy Families is a non-profit program that provides free education and resources to expecting parents. Representatives from Healthy Families stop by your house (or a location you choose) to talk about your pregnancy and answer any questions you may have. I am so grateful for being apart of the Healthy Families program. They really made me feel confident and comfortable about being pregnant and what to expect from parenthood. I would have stuck with the program too, if I hadn't moved.

If your question wasn't answered here check out these awesome websites for more advice:

BabyCenter - I still refer to this website when I have questions. They have so many articles to cover just about every question you can think of. If you have a smartphone you can also download their free apps. They have an app to track your pregnancy week by week; it let's you know what your fetus looks like, what features are developing, what you can do to prepare, and cute little pregnancy anecdotes. After the baby is born they have another app to track your baby's growth.

Parenting - Parenting offers two free years of their magazine and lots of great amazing articles and apps, like BabyCenter. Their magazine is full of great information on pregnancy and babies. They'll even tailor it to your baby's age and have special sections each month specifically for your baby's age group.

What to Expect - Website that goes to the classic pregnancy book. Chock full of useful mommy and mommy-to-be resources. They also have smartphone apps available.

SMART Youth Answers: One for the Team!

I'm considering getting an IUD (Inter-uterine Device), what can I expect from the procedure?

Well congrats on taking the time to research your birth control options and taking control of your vagina!
I hope our blog about Birth Control Methods helped you out, or will help you out if you find yourself still weighing the Pros and Cons of an IUD by the end of this blog.

So let's get to it, the break down of the IUD insertion process.

1. Talk to your GYN. He/She will be the one performing the procedure. If you have not given birth yet, then you will have to get the IUD inserted while on your period. This is necessary because the cervix is wider during menstruation, which will make insertion of the IUD past the cervix and onto the vaginal wall easier.
Yes, this is kind of awkward... and a few more awkward things will happen before insertion:
-The GYN will feel your cervix with their finger.
-You will get a pap smear. This is a swab of the cervix that will test for any abnormal cells before the process. This doesn't hurt... but it is uncomfortable, especially if you're not expecting a Q-Tip to rub around inside your vagina and on your cervix...

2. When you're ready for insertion:
-You will lay flat on your back, with your legs up in stir-ups.
-Relax. Take a deep breath. Sing a song in your head. Pretend you're anywhere but at the doctor's office getting something placed into your uterus.
Being tense adds tension to your muscles, which means your vagina will tense as well, making sliding the IUD up to the cervix a little difficult for the GYN.
So, whatever you have to do to relax, hold someone's hand, ask to play music; then get it done.
-The GYN will then slide the IUD (attached to a long metal-tweezer like object) into the vagina, and then push it past the cervix, where finally they will attach it to the uterine wall.
This will feel like eternity because of the discomfort but really it is almost 5-10 minutes.
Doctors will say it feels like cramps times 10, an uncomfortable pinch.
I don't want to scare you, but I'll keep it real. It was not cramps times 10 for me, nor a pinch.
The only way I can describe it is like kitty claws on the inside of my vagina.
Depending on your pain tolerance, who knows. It doesn't last long though. It really is a new sensation and pain in an area that doesn't necessarily get discomfort like that, so it is hard for the mind to comprehend the whole insertion moment.
But just like that, it's done.
-The GYN will remove the metal object after insertion. You will take your moments to regain your composure, and then you can sit up and gets yourself together.

3. You cannot have intercourse or insert any objects into your vagina for up to two weeks after insertion.

4. You will have major cramps for the rest of your period. Taking a pain reliever is best. The cramps are the uterus's way of trying to deal with a "foreign object", if the contractions get too harsh the uterus can actually expel the IUD- thus making the experience useless.
So take what you need to (and follow prescription instructions) in order to dull the pain.

Now, depending on whether your got a hormonal (Mirena, 5 years) or non-hormonal (Paragard, 10 years) IUD, the next few months will look a little different.

With any hormonal birth control, the effects on your menstruation cycle change, as well as your hormones during certain times. Your body will need to adjust to these changes and it may take around 3 months (or more) for your body to get back on track.

With the non-hormonal, your body is just adjusting to the new object that has just been placed in your uterus. It may just take around 3 months for your uterus to regulate menstruation again, but you are not dealing with any change in hormones. The IUD may even change the cycle of your menstruation, making it longer or shorter, increase in blood flow, and/or come somewhere in the range of 24-28 days.

Either way, it is good to start keeping track of your menstruation cycle after insertion. It will help you figure out what is "normal" for you again.

It is also important to check to see if the strings leading down past the cervix are at a normal length (4 cm) every month. You just relax, slide your finger into your vagina and feel up to your cervix. NO PULLING. You are just feeling the strings out.

AND remember your ANNUAL GYN appointment!
(You will have a follow-up appointment with your GYN after insertion around 2 weeks after.)

Still Considering It?

Great! Now that you have all the information here is where you should start considering the Pros and Cons.

-Both are long term birth control plans, without regimens. The hormonal lasts up to 5 years and the copper is up to 10 years. They can be taken out beforehand, of course, whenever you decide you want to plan a family.
-Insertion is not comfortable.
-Insertion is a quick process.
-Can change your menstrual cycle and increase blood flow as well as cramps during menstruation.
-There is no protection against any Sexually Transmitted Infections or HIV.
-No intercourse for two weeks after insertion.
-Foreign object within the uterus.

You can take all these points and decide for yourself whether or not an IUD is for you.

For more information you can check this site: IUD

Good luck! Stay Safe! And Take Charge!

SMART Youth Answers: I'll take the sex without the baby, please.

How can I make sure I don't get pregnant (besides using a condom)?

This is one of those very rare cases where you CAN have your Cake and EAT it too!

I am obligated to say (because it is true) not having sex is the 100% sure way NOT to get pregnant (or contract and STI or HIV).
That is not what I'm here for though, so let's get to your options!
Keep in mind though, any birth control option is best used in CONJUNCTION with condoms.
It's like having a harness and a safety net, or a jet-pack and a parachute, or emailing your essay to yourself and having it on a flash drive--- you get the picture.
All of these birth control methods DO NOT protect against STI's or HIV. 

Here are some birth control measures on their own:

SHORT TERM BIRTH CONTROL METHODS:
(No Hormones, Use Spermicide, Vaginal Insertion Methods/ Covers Cervix and "Before the Act")

Cervical Cap (FemCap): The name almost says it all. This silicone cup is used in conjunction with spermicide. Before engaging in intercourse you are to insert this cap into the vagina and make sure it is positioned over your cervix. The cap has to stay in place for up to 6 hours after intercourse and should NOT stay in place for more than 48 hours. It can last for up to two years.

Considering a Cap? Check here: FemCap


Birth Control Sponge: The sponge is a... sponge that can be placed into the vagina (over the cervix and with spermicide) for up to 24 hours before intercourse. It must be left in place for up to 6 hours after intercourse. The sponge should NOT be worn for more than 30 hours in a row.

Think a sponge is more up your alley? Here's more info: The Sponge

Diaphragm: Here's a form of birth control that is very unique to you. A diaphragm is a shallow, silicone cup. For diaphragm's you have to be "fitted" for one. They are available in many sizes and designs and your size may change after: pregnancy, miscarriage/abortion, abdominal or pelvic surgery, or a change in weight. Again, a diaphragm is placed into the vagina in order cover the cervix (passageway to uterus) along with spermicide. It is inserted before intercourse and must stay in place for up to 6 hours after intercourse. Do NOT leave a diaphragm in for more than 24 hours. It can last for up to two years.

Maybe you want a Diaphragm? Here's more info: Diaphragm

Main Point: If you are not forgetful, and can pull yourself away from a passionate moment to insert one of these forms of birth-control, then this might be for you. There are no hormones, no regimens, just insert, use spermicide, and then you're protected from pregnancy. With these forms of birth control, practice with insertion is key to making sure they are protecting you to the highest percentage.


"DEPENDS-ON-YOU" TERM BIRTH CONTROL METHODS  

Birth Control Pills: This is a daily pill that contains hormones. Most pills contain a combination of estrogen and progesterone to prevent ovulation (the releasing of an egg). These pills have to be taken at the same time each and every day in order to maintain it's effectiveness. 

The pill comes in different packs, 21 or 28. The 21 pack has a set of hormonal pills for 21 days then the woman has her period and starts again after menstruation is complete. With the 28 pack there are 21 hormonal pills, then the last are non-hormonal pills that the woman will take during her period. This is to keep in the habit of taking a pill each day. 

There are some varieties of pills that give more hormonal pills 

and then after 3 months menstruation can occur. It depends on the woman's preference.


For more information on Birth Control Pills check out this link: Birth Control Pills

Main Point: The pill is NOT for the forgetful! You really need a routine with this form of birth control.

The Patch: The is a sticky, beige, square that sticks to the skin. Once placed on the skin (abdomen, butt, underarm, or upper torso--- besides breasts) it releases the hormones estrogen and progestin (same as the pill). The patch is changed every week, and then a patch free week allows menstruation. A new patch should be placed on the same day each week in order to maintain effectiveness.

For more information check these links: Birth Control Patch, Planned Parenthood on the Birth Control Patch

Main Point: Only one a week but still must have a routine. While it works for most activities and sports there could be an added stress on whether or not it will stay on, since it is adhering to your body.    


Nuva Ring: The Nuva Ring contains estrogen and progestin--- like the pill. It administers these hormones into once being inserted into the vagina. This is a month long birth control method. The ring releases the hormones for up to three weeks, then the woman takes out the ring, menstruates, and inserts a new ring the same day the previous ring was inserted (even if her period hasn't ended).
Nuva Ring has the same concept of  the pill, and is most effective if you have a routine.

For more information check out the Nuva Ring site:  Nuva Ring

Main Point: If you hate pills, are semi-regular with routines (that you can remember when you inserted a ring into your vagina), then this might be a birth control method for you. 

Depo-Provera Shot: This birth control shot releases the hormone progestin. The hormone prevents eggs from leaving the ovaries, and makes the cervical mucous thicker which prevents sperm from getting to the eggs.
The shot prevents pregnancy for three months.
Now if you're not worried about needles, this may be the birth control for you, but let me give you fair warning--- my doctor informed me that woman who use Depo-Provera as birth control, on average gain around thirty pounds (give or take).

For more information check out this link: The Birth Control Shot

Main Point: No pills to take, no rings to change, just a shot every three months. There is inevitable weight gain though.

LONG TERM BIRTH CONTROL METHODS

Birth Control Implant (Implanon & Nexplanon):  The birth control implant is a tiny rod that is inserted in the arm to prevent pregnancy. It releases progestin in order to prevent pregnancy. This form of birth control lasts for up to three years.

For more information on the Implant, check here: Birth Control Implant

Hormonal IUD (Mirena): An IUD is an Inter-Uterine Device. This device releases small amounts of levonorgestrel intra-uterine. The device is a small, T-shaped, plastic piece that is placed on the uterine wall. The hormonal IUD can protect against pregnancy for up to 5 years.

For more on Mirena, check here: Mirena

Non-Hormonal (Copper) IUD (Paragard): This IUD and form of birth control is the only non-hormonal long-term one you'll find around. It is a T-Shaped device that is made of copper that actually protects against pregnancy. It has been shown in studies that copper interacts with sperm in a way that confuses and weakens them, disabling them from fertilizing an egg in the uterus. This is placed the same way as the hormonal IUD (past the cervix and onto the uterine wall) but since it is non-hormonal it can actually last for up to 10 years!

For more on Paragard, check here: Paragard


Main Point: If you are looking for long term birth-control without a daily or monthly method (out of sight, out of mind) then the implantation birth control may be right for you! Just remember, it is a minor surgical procedure. While will not have to be on pain killers, or numb for the procedure, something is still going into your body, so be prepared.
I will post a blog on "What It's Like Getting an IUD" if anyone is considering this form of birth control.
So check back for updates!

Good luck with you Birth Control Method hunting!
I hope this helps you pick the right one for your way of life!

SMART Youth Answers: Wear this THEN the Magic happens!

I want to use a condom with every sexual act, how can I make sure my partner is on board?

Male or Female. Gay or Straight. I'm sure anyone in a relationship (one night stand or longer) has had to deal with the moment of CONDOM NEGOTIATION.

Not that it is really a negotiation...If one partner wants to use a condom, nothing should happen until that condom is out and ready to be put to its proper use! But... nothing in life runs that smoothly.  Here are a few tips to help you with this dance.

1. If your partner becomes aware of the risks that you BOTH can encounter by not using a condom (unaware of STI's, unknown HIV status, pregnancy) they shift their tune quickly. You will have to EDUCATE them on this though.
If you are in the heat of the moment isn't necessarily the best time to give a sexual health lesson... but if that's the time that you realize it has to be done, it's better to do it at that moment than not at all.
It should be an educating process that leads to that big moment where you both have an understanding of the circumstances and the actions that you will agree on.
- With a one-night-stand this is a little harder to achieve, but essentially you are in a moment where it's a WHAM-BAM-THANK YOU SAM Deal anyways. So, just stating that you want to use a condom because you are worried about the risks may just put some reality into the air and you can both go on your ways with a little less stress...

2. When stating your point on using a condom, STAND YOUR GROUND! If your partner is completely on the other side of using it they may try and sway you.
"It'll be quick", "I'm clean", "That won't happen", "It feels better"
Keep your facts in your head and stay vocal.
No sex should happen without a condom if one partner has already stated they WANT to use one.
(If this doesn't happen this is a deeper situation within an unhealthy relationship that will be discussed in future blogs)

3. There are SO MANY different types of condoms!
(To read more about the different varieties, check out this previous blog: Variety if the Spice of Life!)
If the argument is that they don't feel good, maybe your partner needs a larger condom, or ultra thin!
If your partner feels they lack sensation, maybe your partner needs something with a little bit of texture.
If your partner just hasn't found a condom that fits just right... well... There's a female condom for that!
Which leads me to another point...

4. LADIES! If you are in a heterosexual relationship and your male partner does not want to use a condom, and seems completely unyeilding in wearing one, there are female condoms.
While they do take some practice for placement, and having your body adjust,
and you can't use them "in the heat of the moment" (since they need time to meld to the vaginal walls)
This condom does put more power into your playing field! You're already wearing the condom and you can get your business DONE!
(For more on the female condom check out our previous blogs: Putting the Spotlight on the Female Condom, The Female Condom: How to Use It!  )

When dealing with condom negotiation it really comes down to getting the facts (no matter how scary they may be) and COMMUNICATING!
Gradually present the idea if you are not sexually active yet with your partner.
Make sure it is a talking point before anything further happens.
Do your research. Read our blogs. And try a few different techniques (talking, presenting different condoms, using a female condom, etc.)

There's nothing like a date at SMART Youth that will get a couple on the same page of condom usage. :)

Stay Safe!   

SMART Youth Answers: What to Expect When You're Knocked Up Part 1

What do I do when the pregnancy test shows a + sign?

For this post, we asked one of our SMART Youth alumni (and new mommy) to talk about her experiences and what she wished she knew while she was pregnant...

Pregnancy can be terrifying, especially for first time mommies.  Here you are carrying something inside of you!  I know when I was pregnant I was scared about everything.  Am I sleeping in the right position?  Am I taking the right prenatal vitamins?  If I get sick, does my fetus get sick? Do I need to wear an oxygen mask outside because all of the smog, smoke, and debris that flies through the air?  These questions may seem kind of funny to people who have never been pregnant and maybe even to a few experienced mom, but first time moms know--there is no stupid question when it comes to your baby!

Hopefully, this post will help ease your mind of at least some of your questions--and if not--I've included some resources that I used when I was pregnant for the first time at the bottom.

I'm pregnant! What the heck do I do now?

If you're like me, and not someone who goes to the doctor as often as you should, figuring out what to do after you learn you're pregnant can be a bit scary.  First, calm down.  You don't need to rush to the hospital right away.  Right now, just maintain healthy eating habits and get yourself some prenatal vitamins.

If you have health insurance and a clinic you go to that has prenatal care, call them and make an appointment.  Or if you have health insurance, but no clinic, do some research on prenatal clinics nearby and make an appointment with them.  It's really that simple.

If you don't have health insurance, things will be a little more complicated for you, but not impossible.  First you'll have to find a clinic that takes clients with medicaid -- a web engine search, or a visit to a nearby hospital should do the trick.  Set up an appointment with them and let them know you don't have insurance.  When you visit for the first time a social worker will walk you through the procedure of getting medicaid.  You can apply for this on your own, but I personally liked having someone who was familiar with the forms helping me.  Applying for insurance can be a real pain in the butt, but as long as you stay on top of your paperwork and interviews--you should be fine.

If you don't qualify for medicaid, the social worker should be able to help you with other options.

What to expect from your first appointment.

When you arrive at the clinic for the first time a couple of things may happen.  First, no matter what, a nurse will do a pregnancy test to make sure you're actually pregnant.  Several representatives may come in from different departments to ask you questions about your background, or just the doctor and nurse.  You'll be asked questions like: Do you smoke?  Do you drink?  Do you do any other recreational drugs? Are their any hereditary diseases in your family?  Are you allergic to anything?  Nothing too outrageous and it certainly won't be anything you won't be able to answer--unless it's about your partner.

You'll be asked when your last period was, so the doctor will be able to give you a due date.  If you have irregular periods or have been on birth control so you haven't had a period, you may be asked to make an appointment to get an ultrasound done.  Your doctor will check your stomach to make sure everything feels right.  She will also check your uterus with her fingers, so be prepared to strip down and put your legs up in stirrups (yeah it's as not fun as it sounds, but fortunately it's quick).

You will have blood drawn for testing, including for STIs.  If you want HIV/AIDS testing done you have to provide written consent, as it is illegal to do HIV/AIDS testing without your consent.  In addition to your blood work, you may be asked to see a nutritionist to talk about your diet and ways to improve it.  I was sent to the nutritionist the first time I was pregnant because I think I was gaining weight a little too fast.  I have not been sent to a nutritionist yet for my second pregnancy, but I'm at a different clinic now.  So, it may depend on where you go.  Whether or not you are required to see the nutritionist, I would strongly suggest you ask questions about your diet--especially if you don't have healthy eating habits.

You may or may not have an ultrasound done, depending on how far along you are.  There is a first trimester check up where the doctor checks to make sure the fetus is developing normally.  I had this done for my first pregnancy, but as I was already going into my second trimester when I found out I was pregnant my second time, I missed it.  There are other tests to check the development of your fetus, so don't worry if you miss anything.

Chances are you will not always have the same doctor, unless you go to a private practice.  This is because different doctors will be on call at different times--so you never know who you'll have when you go into labor.  For this reason, your clinic will suggest that you try to see all the doctors at the clinic at least once.  I didn't take this advice because I didn't really care which doctor was on call when I went into labor, but it was important to me to have a doctor that knew me.  So once I found a doctor I liked, I stuck with her.  In the end, it's really up to you and what you're most comfortable with.  I stress this, you have to be comfortable.

The first appointment is one of the longest, but most appointments afterwords--unless you are getting an ultrasound or special tests done should only take about 15 minutes.  Hopefully, after your first appointment, you'll feel a lot more comfortable.  If you have an questions ASK YOUR DOCTOR.  Don't hold anything back, even if it seems a bit embarrassing.  Many of your questions may be due to the first time jitters, but you might have a question that's really important.  Questions about vaginal discomfort, discharge, funny odors, or anything along those lines are particularly important.  Yeast infections during pregnancy are very common--even if you've never had a yeast infection before.  Bacterial infections are also common too and can be hazardous to the fetus if left untreated for too long.  So speak up!

I drank/smoked before I knew I was pregnant!  Is my baby going to be okay?

Unfortunately, there's no definitive answer to this question.  Chances are, your baby will be perfectly fine, as this happens to many pregnant women.  However, there is no "certain amount" of drugs or alcohol that is definitely safe or unsafe to consume during pregnancy.  Many doctors and pregnant women are torn on the matter, since studies have shown various results.  The important thing is that, now that you know you are pregnant, you STOP smoking and drinking!  Continuing these habits can lead to terrible consequences for your child later, including (but not limited to); Asthma, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), breathing problems, premature birth, low birthweight, brain defects, heart defects, and facial defects, as well as a weak immune system.

This, of course, is terrifying if you didn't know--but now that you know it is your responsibility to stop.  If you are having trouble quitting talk to your doctor.  They will have resources and specialists to help you.

In addition to quitting, try to avoid being around people who smoke.  Second hand smoke can be just as dangerous as smoking yourself.  If it is your partner or family members who are the smokers, encourage them to quit--or at least not smoke around you.  However, third hand smoke (that smokey smell that emanates from smoker's clothes, car, and house) has its dangers too, so the most ideal situation is a house that is completely smoke free.

If you find that it's hard to get your partner/family members to quit (I'm STILL trying to get my husband to quit!) try not to stress yourself out about it too much.  Do your best to avoid being around smokers.  Walk away when people light up in front of you (you would think people would be courteous enough not to smoke in front of a pregnant woman--but they really aren't).  If there is an event at a smoker's house or some place where you know people will be smoking opt not to go--or go at your own discretion.  You can't be responsible for other people's actions and, trust me, you're going to be irritated by how little many people seem to care about endangering your fetus--but you can control what you do and where you go.


What is the safest position to sleep in while pregnant?

The safest position to sleep in when you are pregnant is on your left side.  This will increase the amount of blood and nutrients that travels through the placenta to your baby.

Sleeping on your stomach is okay, you will not crush your baby, but it will become extremely uncomfortable after awhile.  If you are a stomach sleeper, sleeping on your stomach while slightly tilted to the side may be more comfortable for you.

The only dangerous position to sleep is flat on your back.  This cuts of blood circulation to the fetus and is also bad for you.  It can cause heartburn, shortness of breath, pack pain, low blood pressure, and even hemorrhoids.  This is due to your lower intestines resting on major blood vessels. If you really want to sleep on your back, you can as long as you prop yourself up with pillows against the headboard--or even make your living room recliner your temporary bed home.

No matter what position you sleep in, you are going to have many uncomfortable nights.  It's just a fact.  Getting up every few hours to pee, especially later in pregnancy, is not going to help either.  To make things more comfortable you can get a body pillow (I still love my Boppy full body pillow) or use regular pillows to make yourself more comfortable.  Keep the upper part of your body elevated, this will prevent heartburn and discomfort.  Prop pillows between your legs to keep them parallel to each other, this will help relieve aches and pains in your hips.  Having someone (or a pillow) to hug also makes sleeping more comfortable.  A few pillows placed behind you to keep you tilted if you happen to roll over onto your back are a good idea too.

In short...pillows are your new best friends.

What foods can I eat?

You can pretty much eat anything you want, with few exceptions.  For a full list of foods you should avoid and the reasons behind it, check out the American Pregnancy Association's list of Foods to Avoid.

Foods to avoid include:
- Raw Meat
- Deli Meat
- Raw Eggs
- Raw/Unpasteurized Milk
- Raw Fish
- Smoked Fish
- Fish with Mercury (although fish is very important and full of nutrients, mercury levels make it dangerous)
- Raw Shellfish
- Caffeine
- Alcohol
- Unwashed fruits and vegetables (due to the pesticides and contaminants sprayed on them)

Here are some food guidelines you should try and follow while pregnant:
Grains: 6 - 8 servings a day
1 serving is equal to:
- 1 slice of bread
- 1 cup cold cereal
- 1/2 cup cooked rice, pasta, or hot cereal
- 1 small pancake
- 1 small tortilla

Vegetables: 2 1/2 to 3 servings a day
1 serving is equal to:
- 1 cup vegetables
- 1 cup vegetable juice
- 2 cups dark leafy greens
- 1 medium baked potato

Fruits: 2 servings per day
1 serving of fruit is equal to:
- 1 cup 100% juice
- 1 cup fresh, frozen, or canned fruit
- 1 apple, orange, or banana
- 1/2 cup dried fruit

Dairy: 3 servings per day
1 serving is equal to:
- 1 cup milk
- 1 cup yogurt
- 2 ounces of cheese

 Proteins: 5 1/2 to 6 1/2 servings per day
1 serving of protein is equal to:
- 1/4 cup cooked dried beans
- 1 ounce lean meat, poultry, or fish
- 1 egg
- 2 tablespoons peanut butter of 1/2 cup nuts

Make sure you eat lots of iron-rich foods, as it is easy to suffer from anemia while pregnant and after giving birth.  Meat, poultry, dried fruit, whole grains, dark leafy greens, baked potatoes with the skin still on, beans, peas, nuts, seeds, cereal, bread, pasta, and oatmeal are all great foods to help your iron intake. 
 
For healthy and delicious meals you can easily make at home, check out SMART's new (free) eCookbook, Recipes from SMART's Kitchen Table!

If I am hungry/don't eat enough, will my fetus be hungry too?

No.  Your fetus will take everything it needs from your body.  Whatever nutrients you are lacking in the foods you eat, your fetus will take from other reserves in your body.  That is why it is SO important to maintain a healthy nutrient-rich diet while you are pregnant.  Your baby will be fine, but you may suffer the consequences of malnutrition.

If the reason you are not eating enough is because you are having difficulty paying for food contact your local WIC office and apply.  If accepted, WIC will provide you with stipends to buy healthy foods to supplement your groceries, including whole wheat bread, milk, peanut butter, beans, eggs, and fruits & vegetables.  After the baby is born they will give you more food stipends if you are breastfeeding and formula stipends if you are bottle-feeding.  Being apart of WIC was extremely helpful when I was pregnant and after Julian was born too.

I haven't been feeling very hungry, at all.

It's normal to have a bit of a poor appetite, especially if you are dealing with nausea or morning sickness.  I didn't suffer from morning sickness, but during my second pregnancy I find my appetite is a bit off.  Even if you aren't hungry, you should still make sure you are getting vital nutrients.  I do this by making myself smoothies around meal times.

Smoothies
- plain yogurt
- fruit juice (apple, orange, or white grape) or milk
- strawberries
- banana
- wheat germ
- honey
- a little ice

You can do any combination of fruits or vegetables you like.  I'd strongly suggest honey or agave as a sweetener as they have nutritional value, but sugar does not.  Smoothies taste great and give you some reassurance that you are giving your body and baby what they need.

Why do I get strange food cravings?

The short answer is, no one really knows for sure.  It may be due to hormonal changes which affect and heighten your sense of taste and smell.  It may be because the foods you crave have some sort of vitamin or nutrient your body really needs.  It may be a mix of both.  There are lots of theories, but as of yet, no definitive facts.

Hey, my question isn't here!

Here are some great resources for expecting moms:

WIC - Women, Infants, and Children.  As I mentioned before, this is a great resource for low-income families looking to supplement their groceries with healthier foods.

Healthy Families - Healthy Families is a non-profit program that provides free education and resources to expecting parents.  Representatives from Healthy Families stop by your house (or a location you choose) to talk about your pregnancy and answer any questions you may have.  I am so grateful for being apart of the Healthy Families program.  They really made me feel confident and comfortable about being pregnant and what to expect from parenthood.  I would have stuck with the program too, if I hadn't moved.

If your question wasn't answered here check out these awesome websites for more advice:

BabyCenter - I still refer to this website when I have questions.  They have so many articles to cover just about every question you can think of.  If you have a smartphone you can also download their free apps.  They have an app to track your pregnancy week by week; it let's you know what your fetus looks like, what features are developing, what you can do to prepare, and cute little pregnancy anecdotes.  After the baby is born they have another app to track your baby's growth.

Parenting - Parenting offers two free years of their magazine and lots of great amazing articles and apps, like BabyCenter.  Their magazine is full of great information on pregnancy and babies.  They'll even tailor it to your baby's age and have special sections each month specifically for your baby's age group.

What to Expect - Website that goes to the classic pregnancy book.  Chock full of useful mommy and mommy-to-be resources.  They also have smartphone apps available.

SMART Youth Answers: I Touch Myself

What is masturbation?

                               

                                                 Divinyls- I Touch Myself

Masturbation is the act of "self-love" or more accurately, "solo sex act". It is when you reach orgasm by touching your own genitalia. You can use sex toys during masturbation as well.  The technical terminology is that stimulation is provided to different erogenous zones (areas on the body that have heightened sensitivity and provide sexual arousal.)  These zones are different for females and males.

Females: nipples, vagina, g-spot, clitoris

Males: Penis, scrotum, prostate gland

Commonly shared erogenous zones are the mouth (lips), earlobes, and neck BUT people have different levels of sensitivity when touched on certain areas of their body. 

Females  

Female masturbation is when a female provides stimulation to her clitoris, within her vaginal canal (g-spot stimulation), or all of the above.

-The clitoris is a little pouch above the urethra that becomes engorged with nerves when aroused.

-The g-spot is a bean-shaped, spongy tissue, and composed of erectile tissue, so it swells when blood rushes to it. 

 

There are numerous ways for females to provide stimulation to these parts: 

- A handy-dandy, HAND! Different motions and speeds with your own hand will give you a feel of your own body.

-Vibrators and other sex toys: different vibrators provide different speeds and motions, and different sex toys can touch and stimulate different points of the female genitalia. 

Males 

The penis does not have has many hidden erogenous zones like the vagina.  So, it's a little simpler to figure out how to get started when it comes to masturbation. There is the head of the penis (which may or may not still have foreskin- depending on if the male was circumcised or not). Then there is the shaft of the penis, which leads to the scrotum, holding the testicles. The main point of male satisfaction is through stimulation to the penis with different pressures and speeds against the shaft and the head of the penis. 

Orgasm is more easily achieved for a male because of anatomy. This means masturbation for a male usually also consists of a hand.
BUT males get toys too for their masturbatory needs.
Flesh lights are a silicone based male sex toy. They replicate the vagina, anus, and mouth. Creators of flesh lights have taken some creative liberties and you can even find vampire, alien, and glow in the dark flesh lights. The male inserts his penis into the opening of the flesh light and continues with whatever rhythmic motion suits his fancy.

Both males and females may seek a visual aid during masturbation, like porn or pictures. It is up to the person's taste. Masturbation is one way someone can get to know their body on their own. 

When engaging in sex you can voice which way you like to be touched if you've figured it out for yourself, and maybe your partner will do the same. 

Communication and Satisfaction!

SMART Youth Answers: They Put What WHERE?

What's going to happen when I go get tested for a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI) or HIV?

First of all, congratulations for taking care of your health and the health of your sexual partner by getting tested.  Give yourself a hand -- not that kinda hand (we have a separate blog for that topic).  Okay, there are several ways to get tested for HIV/AIDS.  There is a blood test, but most likely your first test will be the Rapid HIV Test. This test is a swab in the mouth then shows the results in 20 minutes.  They are working on an at-home test, but we always think it is best to go to the professionals for the most accurate results. Either test reveals whether or not your body is producing HIV antibodies.  If the result is negative, a follow-up test is suggested within six months or when you have a new sexual partner.

Hepatitis C Virus (HCV) has a similar Rapid Test, that will give the results in 20 minutes. Except the HCV test pricks the finger and draws a small sample of blood in order to get results.

For infections like Chlamydia and Gonorrhea the test is either a swab of the genital area or a urine sample. Trichomoniasis is tested with a swab of the genital area as well. This can mean for males there may be a testing Q-tip inserted into the urethra in order to obtain a sample to be tested. Just a fair warning.

Syphilis is tested through a blood sample. Herpes can be tested through a blood sample as well if there are no signs of genital warts. This test is expensive though and usually not part of standard STI testing routine. If there are visible warts, a swab is taken of the area in order to test whether or not it is a herpes of HPV genital warts strain.

When testing for HPV, the type that causes cervical cancer within women, a Pap Smear is preformed by your gynecologist. A pap smear is a swab of the cervix. It can be slightly uncomfortable, but it is quick. Pap tests detect cervical cell changes, NOT HPV. If there are abnormal cells in the results, that is usually a result of an HPV infection. An HPV DNA test and biopsy (colposcopy) can be done as a follow-up routine.

It seems like a lot, and slightly intimidated, but this is for your sexual health and your partners.
It is best to get tested either every six months, after every change of a partner, or if unprotected sex has occurred.       

SMART Youth Answers: I'M NOT POPCORN!

When is my cherry actually "Popped"? What does "popping my cherry" really mean?

 Laci Green (Sex+) has a wonderfully detailed video about what I will explain about the HYMEN.

1.The hymen (AKA the cherry) DOES NOT POP!
BTW -- it really doesn't look like a cherry either. It is actually a thin layer of tissue that covers a portion of the vaginal entrance.

2.What does happen to hymen? It TEARS and this happens in lots of ways that has nothing to do with sex. If a female lands on something that is in-between her legs with force (like horse back riding, bike riding, gymnastics), the hymen can tear. It is a very sensitive and thin sheet of tissue.

3. Since the hymen can tear at other times in a females life other than her "sexual debut," this is not a very reliable way to determine if she is a virgin. Even if the hymen is around doing the first penis-vagina sex act, the hymen can tear the first time of sex or it can still be there afterwards. The hymen may even tear the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. time of sex depending on how relaxed the body is, whether or not there is enough lubrication, etc.

4. However, it can be painful for the female when the hymen tears particularly when a penis is involved. In order to prevent pain and significant tearing it is suggested to use LUBE and engage in foreplay in order to give more elasticity to hymen for smoother entry.

Here's the most interesting fact about the hymen: The hymen CAN repair itself! So if there is a period where the hymen is not being pushed to the side for entrance into the vagina, it can start to cover the opening in it's semi-original state again.

So there you have it. Here's the breakdown about a woman's "cherry" and what is "popped":
-The hymen does not POP, it tears.
-When it does tear-- it doesn't have to happen during sex.
-Since it does not only tear during sex, it can't be a test to tell if someone is a "virgin".
-In order decrease tearing (and pain), lubrication is the best tool to help the hymen adjust to the entry of any object into the vagina.