Save the Date: Barbershop Talk!

SMART Youth's event for all males (male identifying) is coming at the end of the month!

Disclosure & You

With HIV specific laws that lead to criminalization and discrimination of people living with HIV/AIDS, there is a lot of pressure and fear surrounding disclosure.
There is a notion on the rise, that as soon as we create a SAFE & SUPPORTIVE environment for disclosure, is when we can truly conquer these laws and the stigma associated with them.

Here is a break down of:
How you can be comfortable disclosing
OR
How you can be the best listener for someone who is disclosing to you!

Person Disclosing:

Check out these previous blogs for in depth tips on how to go about disclosing safely and comfortably: 

Disclosure: School & Work

Disclosure: Relationships

Some quick take away tips are that you should disclose on YOUR time!

This is your information. Your status. Your life. 

Always consider why you are disclosing and who you are disclosing to.

I believe it is always best to have a support system in place for you, no matter what the end reaction after disclosing is.

Person Being Disclosed To: 

You wouldn't be wasting your time if you took a glance at the blogs about the person disclosing, it could help you get the "in their shoes" perspective.

BUT

I have some specific tips for the person in this category anyway.

1. Listen - Put yourself in the other person's shoes, wait until the person disclosing is done, take time to compose your thoughts.

2. Questions - The person disclosing should give you the floor for questions, it's a natural reaction to hearing someone's story. Maybe you need something cleared up, maybe you haven't been fully educated on a certain topic. Speak up. Try to formulate your questions the best you can and take it as a learning experience. 

3. You Have Been CHOSEN - Feel honored. The person disclosing has chosen you with their personal information. There is a sense of trust and hopeful support behind this decision. You should not be the one DRAGGING the disclosure out, you are not allowed to do the CHOOSING.

4. You Still Have Free Will - You don't have to stay in contact with the person disclosing just because they have told you this information. You are allowed to stay or leave. But I would take my time with this decision, get all the information, and atleast let the person know the reasons behind your decision.

5. Future Plans - This is more for the relationship people, but it is not selfish to consider what your future plans may be and how they might change if you are with an HIV positive person. 

Some things to think about are: Consistent use of condoms, routine testing, planning pregnancies in order to reduce transmission to partner and baby...

A Sero-Discordant relationship (One partner is Positive, the other is Negative) may or may not be what is right for you in the long run, but it is always best to get all the information before a decision.

6. Take Your Time But Make Sure To COMMUNICATE - Silence can be awkward, but sometimes it is necessary after a lot of information enters a room. Absorb. Your mind might be racing (or not, I don't know) but the person's disclosing heart AND mind is racing most likely a lot faster than yours. Don't let everything stay bottled up, let the person know what is on your mind.

*7. THIS IS NOT YOUR INFORMATION TO TELL OTHERS - The person disclosing has disclosed to you. They have disclosed their status and probably even more background history that goes along with that. It is NOT your story or history to tell. Unless you are in full communication with the person disclosing, and explain why you feel it would be in your best interest to possibly talk to a trusted adult about the situation, DO NOT DISCLOSE FOR SOMEONE ELSE!

That is all!

Always remember though, SMART Youth is there for your support no matter what category you belong to!

 

Sex on YOUR Terms!

On March 15th, SMART Youth had their National Women & Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day event at NYIT.

We had yummy food, covered a variety of great topics, and had great discussions!
A few gentlemen even wanted to join!

Our youth leaders and youth facilitator led workshops! It was full SMART Youth run!

Jeannie doing a female condom demonstration.

We discussed topics such as:
*Body Image & Self Love
*Female Masturbation (This was a new one for SMART Youth, and really got the mind racing!)
*Consent & Condom Negotiation
*Female Condom Pro's, Con's, & How To's
*Empowerment/Advocacy Opportunities

SMART Youth Ladies!

We had a wonderful turn out and can't wait for next year!

Stay tuned for the Male Version, "Barbershop Talk" at the end of May!

Sex On My Terms!

SMART Youth and Roots are hosting an event for
National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day!

Pick Up's, Hook Up's, & Break Up's

SMART Youth's Post-Valentine's Day event was a success!
Despite the rain and trains... we still managed to have a great event and hopefully provide people with new and valuable information!

If you weren't able to make it, or are curious about what we discussed, here is a little summary of each section.

Pick Up's:

1. Figure out what you are looking for (physical attraction, smarts, style, etc.)
2. Be confident. (Always a valuable attribute)
3. Don't push yourself onto them. (OR make them uncomfortable)
4. Make sure you are in a safe space. (And a place you would want to pick someone up at!)
5. Prepare yourself for rejection. (It happens! Don't let it get you down, move on with your head up)

Hook Up's:

When you're ready to continue some form of a relationship with someone, you should prepare yourself. 
You should know what YOU WANT and what you will possibly want from a partner.
Check out this Yes, No, Maybe list to figure out some guidelines for yourself and partner(s): 
Yes, No, Maybe

Remember, Hook-up's are open for interpretation! Communication is key in order to figure out what type of relationship you are experiencing with someone in order to reduce the "gray area" which we all dread. 

Hook-Up's can be one night, kissing, sex or no sex, consistent, a few months, years, once in awhile... or a full relationship!
Know your rules and respect yourself so others can show you the same respect you deserve!

Break-Up's:

So it's coming to an end... Either it's for the best, going to hurt, or going to be the best day of your life. 
It also all depends on whether or not you are being dumped or the one doing the dumping.

*These are very general tips since it all depends on how you feel about the person and the reason for leaving a person.  

For the Dumper: 
-Be clear. Make it known that this is the end of whatever you have created with this other person.
-Try not to be a jerk.
-Don't lie. "It's not you, it's me.", come on... seriously? 
-Establish rules for after the relationship is over.

For the Dumped: 
-Listen & Absorb.
-Don't jump to conclusions.
-Take a moment, if you need one. 
-Accept it for the moment. If you so desire to pursue (which might not be a good idea if they are very clear), sleep on it for a bit. Let the air clear.

There are ways that people prefer to breakup/be broken up with, like face to face contact.
Texting and emails are at the bottom of that list, but it happens. It depends on where you are in the relationship or the type of relationship.

Good Luck and Stay Safe!
What a crazy thing relationships are...

Rescheduled Valentine's Day!

SMART Youth is back in action and with a new date for our AWESOME Valentine's Day event:
"Pick Ups, Hook Ups, and Break ups"

Saturday, February 23rd
2-4:30 PM
Vineapple Cafe (71 Pineapple street, Brooklyn, NY 11201)
2/3 trains to Clark St. OR A/C to High St.

V-Day and Snow Storm Nemo!

 Due to Snow Storm Nemo our Valentine's Day event:
"Pick-Ups, Hook-Ups, and Break-ups" will be rescheduled for a future date!
Stay tuned, stay safe, and stay warm!

Happy Valentine's Day in advance!