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Friday, November 8, 2013

Honey, May I...?

Here is the basic break down of CONSENT.
It seems to be something that is lacking in our society now-a-days.
No one likes to check in with people anymore for fear of "breaking the mood."
But I think miscommunication later can kill a mood even more.
When sexual consent is not clear or taken into consideration, even more traumatizing things can happen!

To get you started on logically thinking about consent in your life, here is an awesome video clip about sexual consent:

In an educational skit from NiteStar, this quote always stuck in my mind, "NO may not always mean NO, but NO ALWAYS MEANS STOP!"

No may not always come in the form of NO.

Here are a few ways someone might try to get the point across without actually saying no, but they are all synonymous!
-Back Off! (or some more aggressive language)
-I'm tired tonight.
-Can we just watch a movie?
-I'm not interested.
-You're not my type.
-I'd prefer to do... (some other activity)
Anything else along those lines. I think we've heard a few in our lifetimes. (You can leave some of your favorite examples in the comments if you'd like!)

I've mentioned a "Yes, No, Maybe" list in previous blogs (Yes, No, Maybe So )
This is a wonderful tool to get to know YOURSELF.
You should never consent to anything unless you feel comfortable. That is the whole point. Know yourself and then other people can get to know you and experience things with you.

This is the main point of consent. To communicate. Body language is too broad of a gesture to make assumptions about.

If you are unsure about anything, JUST ASK. It may be uncomfortable, but at least you will KNOW for CERTAIN. The only time you get a true "Green Light" with consent is if an enthusiastic and unpersuaded "Yes!" is heard.

The only time a "yes" is disregarded is if someone is intoxicated or pressured to changed their mind. This means that the consent was not fully their choice, they couldn't make a complete judgement of their actions, and so forth.

Let us just ingrain this notion into our minds and go forth and have conversations with our partners, friends, and families!

It is a process but will pave the way to a better and clearer future for many!

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