Pick Up's, Hook Up's, & Break Up's

SMART Youth's Post-Valentine's Day event was a success!
Despite the rain and trains... we still managed to have a great event and hopefully provide people with new and valuable information!

If you weren't able to make it, or are curious about what we discussed, here is a little summary of each section.

Pick Up's:

1. Figure out what you are looking for (physical attraction, smarts, style, etc.)
2. Be confident. (Always a valuable attribute)
3. Don't push yourself onto them. (OR make them uncomfortable)
4. Make sure you are in a safe space. (And a place you would want to pick someone up at!)
5. Prepare yourself for rejection. (It happens! Don't let it get you down, move on with your head up)

Hook Up's:

When you're ready to continue some form of a relationship with someone, you should prepare yourself. 
You should know what YOU WANT and what you will possibly want from a partner.
Check out this Yes, No, Maybe list to figure out some guidelines for yourself and partner(s): 
Yes, No, Maybe

Remember, Hook-up's are open for interpretation! Communication is key in order to figure out what type of relationship you are experiencing with someone in order to reduce the "gray area" which we all dread. 

Hook-Up's can be one night, kissing, sex or no sex, consistent, a few months, years, once in awhile... or a full relationship!
Know your rules and respect yourself so others can show you the same respect you deserve!

Break-Up's:

So it's coming to an end... Either it's for the best, going to hurt, or going to be the best day of your life. 
It also all depends on whether or not you are being dumped or the one doing the dumping.

*These are very general tips since it all depends on how you feel about the person and the reason for leaving a person.  

For the Dumper: 
-Be clear. Make it known that this is the end of whatever you have created with this other person.
-Try not to be a jerk.
-Don't lie. "It's not you, it's me.", come on... seriously? 
-Establish rules for after the relationship is over.

For the Dumped: 
-Listen & Absorb.
-Don't jump to conclusions.
-Take a moment, if you need one. 
-Accept it for the moment. If you so desire to pursue (which might not be a good idea if they are very clear), sleep on it for a bit. Let the air clear.

There are ways that people prefer to breakup/be broken up with, like face to face contact.
Texting and emails are at the bottom of that list, but it happens. It depends on where you are in the relationship or the type of relationship.

Good Luck and Stay Safe!
What a crazy thing relationships are...

Rescheduled Valentine's Day!

SMART Youth is back in action and with a new date for our AWESOME Valentine's Day event:
"Pick Ups, Hook Ups, and Break ups"

Saturday, February 23rd
2-4:30 PM
Vineapple Cafe (71 Pineapple street, Brooklyn, NY 11201)
2/3 trains to Clark St. OR A/C to High St.

V-Day and Snow Storm Nemo!

 Due to Snow Storm Nemo our Valentine's Day event:
"Pick-Ups, Hook-Ups, and Break-ups" will be rescheduled for a future date!
Stay tuned, stay safe, and stay warm!

Happy Valentine's Day in advance!

Valetine's Day Event: "Pick- Up's, Hook-Up's, & Break-Up's"

SMART Youth's Valentine's Day Event is NEXT SATURDAY!

 

Join us for some tips on picking up a date before V-Day, establishing a date with your "main squeeze", or moving on from that Anti-V-Day partner you've been trying to ditch.

Raffle Prizes! Pizza! Fun & SMART People! 

Saturday, February 9th

Vineapple Cafe ( 71 Pineapple St. Brooklyn, NY 11201)
(2/3 to Clark st., A/C to High st.)
2-4:30PM

A Little Insight on Your Labs

Last week SMART Youth had a quick overview of what goes on at your doctor's appointment.
Whether it's blood work, or a regular check up, here are a few things to help you clear up all the confusing "doctor talk."

Basic Blood Work:

CBC: Complete Blood Count, this provides information on the kinds and number of cells in the blood, especially red blood cells.

Iron: (Fe), blood cells carrying oxygen.
Blood cells that are lacking in oxygen can mean someone is anemic (low iron). This can lead to lack of energy and lethargy (very tired most of the time).

Cholesterol: (HDL, LDL, and combined) The amount of cholesterol in your blood can come from your diet, weight, or even genetics (hereditary trait).

• HDL: High Density Lipoprotein, this is also known as the GOOD cholesterol since it can provide protection AGAINST Heart Disease.
  Above 60 milligrams/deciliter (mg/dL) is Above Average
  40-60 mg/dL is Average
  Below 40 mg/dL is Low
• LDL: Low Density Lipoprotein, this is also know as the BAD cholesterol since is can CAUSE Heart Disease.
  Below 100 mg/dL is Above Average
  130 mg/dL is Average
  130-159 mg/dL is Border-line High
  160 or more is High
• HDL + LDL are both levels combined.  

What else happens at the Doctor's Office?

BMI: Body Mass Index, your doctors checks your weight range against the precautions of either being underweight or overweight in comparison to your body type.

FOR THE VAGINAS

Pap Smears: Your Gynecologist (GYN) does a swab of your cervix for abnormal cells. These can consist of pre-cancer or cancer cells.
HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) can cause abnormal cells in the cervix and is the leading cause of Cervical Cancer, which has NO SYMPTOMS!
Pap smears should be done every 3-5 years (once sexually active).
If you have ever had an abnormal pap smear, it is recommended to get a pap smear annually.


FOR THE PENISES

Testicular Self Exams: These self exams should happen once a month after a shower. You are checking for any changes (pain, lumps, swelling) and a size comparison between testes.
*Testicular Cancer is most common in men UNDER 40!
So don't forget to do this quick self exam! If there are any changes go to your doctor!

Hope this helped clear up some alphabet soup with your labs and appointments!
Stay Safe, Stay SMART!

SMART Youth Answers: So, Sext Me, Maybe?

 

 

*This blog was written by another youth leader that is not Christina.

Sexting, AKA sexual text messaging, is the act of sending or receiving sexually explicit or implicit text messages or images electronically via wireless device. Think of it as the modern day version of ‘phone sex’ -- except, unlike phone sex, sexting leaves very little to the imagination.

Sexting originated in the early 2000s as phones started to have  cameras and has become a trend among teens curious about sex and sexuality.

• Talk about both the small (false sense of intimacy, loss of control, possible future issues in jobs/relationships) and large consequences (jail, social isolation, depression, bullying, school suspensions, etc)
• Sexting includes more than just texts today -- Facetime, Skype, Facebook, etc are all places where "sexting" occurs 
• Digital technology ensures that all images and words are available forever and are almost impossible to "delete" or destroy -- (ex. Anthony Weiner's twitter pictures of his private parts will always be available.)
• Not just an issue for teens, but it is the time when we are most curious and susceptible to other people's requests.

The lesson to be learned here is that the images you send wirelessly can be permanent. You should be very careful when sending sexual messages and images because you never know who else will see it.

Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean you should!
Be Smart and Be Safe!
Understand the consequences of your actions.
The choice is yours. 

A Perspective on Coming Out

SMART Youth Answers gave some tips on how to "come out" to people in your life.
(Coming Out!)
Here is the perspective from another youth leader that will hopefully help provide more tips and comfort for your own journey or a friends.

"Like many young gay men and women, I struggled with coming out. I had to deeply and sincerely search for courage within myself. For me, the search was not easy. 
For starters, I had no guarantee that I would find the courage there at all. I was 10 years old at the time and I was born and raised into a Protestant/Christian household and family. It was difficult enough to think that that guy in the basketball shorts was cute. To add to it, I listened to my pastor and my family talk about how wrong homosexuality was many times. 
I was also under the impression that I had to have a girlfriend. I remember lying down in my bed and thinking, “I’m supposed to like girls, right?” However, when the time came, I knew that I didn’t like girls the way other guys around my age did. 
So, when I had to find the courage to tell my friends and family, I was not just letting other people into my life, I was also opening myself to be vulnerable and honest about whom I was. I realized that the hardest part for me was not the act of disclosing my sexual preference to my friends and family, but telling myself that I was gay—that I liked men. 
I struggled so much to accept the fact that I was gay. There were times when I thought about other men and immediately felt disgusted that I could think of something so out of the "norm". I remember thinking that there must be something wrong with me—that I could find a cure and finally begin to like girls. 
I couldn’t go on with that lie for long. 
I slowly started to accept my sexual preference and myself. I started in small pieces. After a while, the small pieces accumulated and I started to see my internal struggle start to calm down—the crushing gale winds now coming to a breeze, the ominous cloudy sky now starting to clear up. When I came to terms with myself, it became easier to think about coming out. 
Looking back, I don’t regret anything one bit. 
I love the man who stares back at me in the mirror. I love the man that I’ve grown up to be. I will continue to love myself as well. 
When I finally came out to my friends, I was lucky enough to be around comforting, loving, and understanding people. I am fortunate to continue having friends like that to this day. 
I hope to one day work to make other people’s coming out experience to their friends as loving as mine was. I know that not everyone does. 
If there is anything that I can share about my experience, it’s that you have to know who you are first before you can let others know. Love yourself, love who you are. Embrace your identity and do not allow yourself to be inhibited by other’s influence because they do not know you as well as you do. 
Indeed, the only person who truly knows you is yourself."