Let’s talk about toys! Ahem…not children’s toys. We’re
talking sex toys. Sex toys are tools that we use to give us sexual pleasure. We've
talked about how self-pleasure and sexual exploration are healthy,
and sex toys are a great start to that journey; but they don’t always have to
be used for masturbation. Sex toys can be used with your partner as well and be
a healthy way to find out each other’s likes and dislikes.
So you want to try a
sex toy, but you don’t know where to start? If you’re new to the world of sex
toys, here’s an introductory guide to help you navigate!
Ye Olde History of
Sex Toys
Sex toys have a very long and funny history. Dildos have
been around since the Stone Age…literally. They were made from polished stone!
Many ancient civilizations used sex toys for purposes ranging from religious
ceremonies to a soldier giving his wife a dildo to ensure she will be faithful
while he’s fighting in a war.
Vibrators have a much shorter, yet more bizarre history. During the Victorian Era, there was a supposed
illness [that strangely only affected women…hmmm] called Hysteria, which had
symptoms such as nervousness, irritability, and depression. The prescribed
treatment was pelvic massages, which doctors would perform manually, until patients had a hysterical paroxysm (re: ORGASM!) This
was at a time when female sexuality and pleasure was not considered at all,
therefore there was very little known about it! Doctors complained about doing
these very popular procedures because their hands got tired and it sometimes
took patients long time to reach orgasm hysterical paroxysm, so
companies started making electric vibrators for home use! It’s no shock that
these devices flew off the shelves…that was until everyone caught on that women
were using these devices sexually. Sales of personal vibrators dropped until
they reappeared in the 1960’s!
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| Scene from Hysteria. You should watch this movie! |
The Sexual Revolution was the time when vibrators and other
sex toys made a comeback. The Sexual Revolution started in the 60’s and was a
time when Western heteronormative views on sex and sexuality were challenged.
With the popularization of sexuality in media throughout the 90’s and 2000’s
(re: Samantha from Sex in the City and the Fifty Shades of Grey frenzy), sex
toys are back and more popular than ever! And although the history of sex toys
has been mostly focused on women, there are all kinds of sex toys that serve
the pleasures of all genders, sexual preferences, and tastes! Sex toys are not
just for cis-hetreosexual women, they’re for EVERYONE!
So now that you have your history down, let’s get to the
nitty gritty!
Types of Toys
There are so many different types of toys out there, ranging
from the type of material it’s made out of, to if it vibrates or doesn’t; but
we’re going to break it down into a few different categories based on the toys’
functions. It’s important to note what these are not rigid categories; you can use a sex toy for any body part you wish, as long as you use it safely and
hygienically! (Links to pictures are NOT SAFE FOR WORK!)
As stated before, dildos have been around since the Stone
Age. Today, they come in all shapes, sizes, textures and materials [though not
in stone]! Dildos are toys that rod-like (most times phallic) in shape and are
used for sexual penetration. They can be used for both vaginal and anal
penetration, although it is important to note that dildos without wide bases should NOT be used in the anus. Dildos
can also be double ended, which is great for simultaneous partner pleasure. The
defining characteristic of a dildo is that they do not vibrate! If you’re
looking for a vibrating dildo, take a look at the Vibrators section further
down this list.
Although dildos can be used for the anus, there are some
toys that are just made specifically for anal penetration and designed to make
it more comfortable and pleasurable. Some of the types include butt plugs, anal beads, and prostate massagers. Butt plugs are shorter and differently shaped
than dildos. Most of them are conically shaped, with a very wide base to
prevent the plug from getting lost in the rectum. Anal beads are a toy with a
series of different sized balls attached to each other that is inserted and
removed from the anus to enhance pleasure. Prostate massagers are specifically
shaped to stimulate the prostate.
Long gone are the days when vibrators were attached to large
machines that had to be powered by coal. Nowadays, vibrators can be plugged
into outlets, can be battery-powered, or even be wireless. They can be the size
of personal massagers (Hitachi Wand) or be the size of your thumb (bullet). Many
vibrators have different speeds and variations of vibrations to choose from.
Some vibrators also have attachments to them to further enhance pleasure,
whether it’s an attachment to stimulate the clitoris or an attachment to
stimulate the g-spot or prostate.
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| Suuuuper discrete! |
If you want to be able to use a dildo without using hands,
then a Strap-On Harness may be right for you. A harness is something you wear
around your hips that you can attach a dildo to penetrate a partner.
Toys for the Penis
There are a few toys that are made to enhance pleasure for
the penis. Masturbation Sleeves are toys that are used on the penis and
simulate penetration similar to a mouth, vagina, or anus. Sleeves can come with
features such as vibrations, liquid, suction, and different textures throughout
the toy in order to accurately replicate these body parts. C-Rings are rings
that either go around the penis or scrotum to slow blood flow to the penis.
This allows erections to last longer. They also delay orgasms and can cause orgasms
to be more intense.
This is not an exhaustive list of toys, given that there are
so many ways to give and receive pleasure. Taking a virtual trip to a sex toy
website (or physically going to a sex toy shop) will introduce you to more
options!
Lube it Up!
When using your sex toys, water-based lubricants are best!
Although they don’t last as long and do need some reapplying, you can be sure
that it’ll be safe for your toy! If you have a silicon or non-glass sex toy, do not use silicon-based lubricants. Silicon
loves to bond with silicon, so when you use a silicon toy with silicon lube,
they join together and become gummy and tacky…which is not what you want your
toy to be! Stay away from oil-based lubricants also, as they are harder to
clean and may deteriorate the outside of your toy depending on what material
it’s made out of! If you’re using a condom on your sex toy, the rules for lubricant and condoms still apply!
Safety’s First!
It is super important to clean your toys before and after
use! To clean your toys, wash with antibacterial soap and warm water or wash
with hydrogen peroxide and rinse with warm water. Some toys require you to boil
them or put them in the dishwasher to ensure cleanliness. Make sure you read
the cleaning instructions when you purchase your toy. Do not wash a toy while it’s still on or plugged in, nor submerge the
mechanical parts in water. The more porous the toy (jelly toys tend to be
porous), the harder it is to clean. If you’re using a sex toy between partners
or using one between different parts of your body (especially switching from
anal to anything else), it is especially
important to keep your toys clean between use. Using a condom with the sex toy
is a great alternative, too. Just make sure you use a new condom with each sex
act and each partner!
Make sure you’re buying from reputable places! Sex toys are
not government regulated, so makers of sex toys do not have to use materials
that are suitable for bodily use. When you buy from a well-known or reputable
store, you can be mostly assured that what you’re buying is okay to put inside
of you.
So there you have it! Now go out there and have some hysterical paroxysms!
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