SMART Youth Answers: What Happens After Sex

I just had sex, now what do I do?

Okay, we already discussed how to dispose of condoms after sex, so now we will cover the talking and the emotions part of the experience. Regardless of your relationship with your sexual partner, there is always a sense of vulnerability after sex. Our bodies are exposed, we are naked, and we just shared a very intimate act with another person. It is completely normal to feel anxious or uncertain about what to do next. But this is one situation with no "right" answer. The most important thing for you to do is to figure out what makes you feel comfortable. If you want to continue that sense of connection, this is a great time to cuddle (after disposing of the condom) or to talk to your partner. It is always a good idea to wash up after sex for hygiene and comfort reasons. Finally, you need to leave the situation feeling like you and your sexual partner are on the same page in terms of what sex means to you.

After sharing something as intimate as sex, the hope is that you feel a sense of security and comfort with the other person. That means you can talk to them about how you are feeling and your emotions for the other person and about if sex changes that relationship. It would be best if that discussion happens before you have sex, but it should definitely happen before you leave. The main reason that sex causes anxiety is that you don't know what it means to the other person. Is it only a physical desire that you are exploring or is it an expression of the emotional connection that is part of a romantic relationship? The only way to know is to talk about it.